10 things...

First let me apologize to myself for missing out on last weeks post. I got caught up in the week’s activities though I was mindful of my commitment to post on this blog every week.

I forgive myself. Thank you. (You’re welcome)

Last night I had a discussion with a dear friend. It started with a question:

Why do good relationships go bad?

A while back I stumbled on a book about relationships, marriage, and divorce etcetera. The author was a marriage counselor (of course he should be!) and he gave an account of couples having a terrible time in their young marriages and coming to him for help.

He would give each of them a chance to express themselves. And what was interesting was that each partner made solid cases for wanting a separation or divorce. So at the end of the day no one seemed right or wrong. No one had the upper hand. Each had a valid list of complaints.

However the author had what he called a master key for healing sour relationships. After each had talked and flared up and cried, he would tear out two sheets of paper and give to each partner.

"I would like you both to take the next thirty minutes and write down ten things you like or appreciate about your partner. Do not focus on the anger you feel right now. Forget about who is wrong or who needs to apologize."

They would look at him quizzically like he was mad or something.

"Didn't you hear all we just said? We want a divorce. If she/he can't apologize or change there is no point!"

"Please calm down and just flow with me for the next 30 minutes. If you can’t think of anything likeable in your partner right now, cast your mind back to when you first met. Write down ten things that thrilled you about him/her back then and see if there is still something about your partner you still admire"

They would go silent and begin to think back.

1. He does have a nice smile.
2. She is creative.
3. I like her cooking.
4. Back then he was so romantic. He still is come to think of it.
5. I like the way she swings those hips!
6. I like his confident nature.
7. She is God fearing
8. I love the fact that he is always full of ideas
9. I must confess she is intelligent. I love that about her.
10. I love him for sticking with me all these years, showing commitment even when things were rough.
11. She always encourages me. At least she used to do that then.
12. When she wears those tight jeans I melt like butter on a hot knife!
13. Though he can be a grouch, but on a good day, he is so funny. And when he starts dancing....
14. She is great with the children…

According to the author, they would start writing their list in his office and within minutes he would notice a change. The tension in the air would tangibly reduce. Sometimes one of them would break out into a reluctant smile. He would then ask them to go home and make the list up to twenty points.

Usually by the time they came back the next day, they would be holding hands and smiling and acting like 16 year olds. Most of them that is.

What’s the moral of the story?

Anything you focus on with intensity becomes magnified and starts to grow. Whatever you think about mostly becomes your reality. If you dwell so much on the faults of others instead of concentrating on what is lovely about them you will end up having many sour relationships. If you dwell on your joblessness or lack of money all the time, the problem just seems to become more and more overwhelming as the days go by.

The Bible even encourages us in Philippians to think about things that are lovely, pure, commendable, true etcetera.

No matter what you are going through right now choose to focus your thoughts on the positives, be it an uncomfortable relationship, a financial or workplace crisis, an impending job interview, a business going bad, no matter what, choose to see things in a positive light.




Take your pen out now, (or even post it as a comment to this article), write out ten things you like about life right now, or ten things you love about your boyfriend or wife, or ten wonderful things that have happened to you in the past one year. Just take time out now to write ten things. And see the lift it will give you.

Take it easy folks.

And thanks for stopping by.

The Secret To Having More...

Hello there. Its another week, the 24th week of the year 2010. And as I indicated in my last post, it's my intention to post a fresh article every week to keep this blog alive and you all my (few) readers, motivated.

I stumbled accross a very short but very profound statement this morning while reading a variety of internet articles. I found it on the pages of a free online ebook which I downloaded. The author of this book quoted the statement and claimed it was his own personal summary of all the secrets of success ever written.

The statement is: "To have more...Be more..."

I sort of agree with him because by the time you think about it, analyze it and digest it, you may realize that your level of success today depends on what is deposited inside of you: your skills, abilities and capacities. Before anyone starts responding with, "hey it is God who blesses", or "it is not of him that willeth but of God that showeth mercy", let me explain:

Why does a roadside mechanic earn more than a security guard? Why does a banker earn more than a roadside mechanic? Why does a CEO earn more than a secretary or typist? One has a more valuable set of skills and abilities than the other, that's why!



Yes I know some people have so many skills and talents and yet wallow in mediocrity and poverty. But that is because they still lack one or two vital ingredients to trigger off the success in life they need. That one ingredient may be discipline, the ability to concentrate on a certain task, the ability to rest at night, or even, a vibrant relationship with God. It may be a fear of God or love for fellow human beings that may be lacking. Whatever it is, the principle is that to have more, you have to BE more!



You want to HAVE more success? Become the person who deserves that success. Learn something new in your field or even something entirely unrelated to your field. Practise a new daily discipline, read more books, exercise more, be more friendly, be more compassionate. You want to HAVE more happiness? Give more, sing and dance more, laugh more, watch more comedies.

You want a more fruitful spiritual life? Be more spiritual, pray more, read your Bible more, praise and worship more.

You want to have more money? Save more. Learn more about money. Develop and acquire more financial skills and intelligence.

You want to have more friends? Be more friendly. You want a different set of friends? Be different!

Well, I leave the rest to our minds for deeper meditation. As always, feel free to contribute, comment or just simply say, "wow! great post! lovely blog!"

Till next week, I am saying "You can be more, you can have more, just believe!!"

Cheers

Motivation for The Week! 1

I'm back!

First I must sincerely apologize to myself, fellow bloggers, followers and of course visitors for not being consistent in updating my blogs regularly. Please forgive me.

(Me says: You are forgiven)

Thanks!

While getting ready for the day I had this sudden strong inspiration to start a series I will call "Motivation for the Week". In this series (so help me God), I will simply be staying true to the spirit and mission behind Cognito Files which is to provide encouragement for the soul.

And the message for this week is simple but pregnant with high-intensity inspiration:

Look backward with Gratitude...and forward with confidence!

No matter how depressing or disappointing your past is, no matter how terrible, you must try to be thankful. Thankful to God for bringing you through it. And thankful to the various people who stood by you or made a positive difference. In fact you can decide right now to take the time to send those people thank you messages, thanking them for just being there, or for any help they rendered.

Then look ahead. The future is full of so many unknowns and uncertainties. Rather than allowing fear to unsettle you, decide to be full of confidence. Confidence in God. Confidence in your strengths and abilities.

You can make it! Only believe.

Stay Motivated!

PS: dont hesitate to give me comments or feedback on any article in this series. And be good enough to forward any post to others if you think it may make a positive difference.

Cheers

Dreams do come true!

You know when God decides to get you on your knees and pour out buckets of blessings on your head it can be a very unreal experience. It feels like you are dreaming and every now and then you pinch yourself to see if you are really awake.

God recently pulverised my life with a barrage of blessings. Though it was something I had longed for desperately for the past 3 or 4 months, when it came, I honestly felt it was too good to be true. Each morning I would wake up and look around expecting to see that I was back to square one.

In fact, I at times found myself repeatedly asking God to bless me as though He had not already done it. The truth is that I somehow felt I didn't deserve to be so blessed.I had often felt that you had to be a saint to get God to answer your prayers. I sure haven't been one.
When God gives you your heart's desire exactly as you requested for it, it's an amazing experience.

Looking back, I realize it was a journey of faith...a good fight of faith, as Apostle Paul would put it. 6 months ago it was merely a wish. Three months later it became a desperate desire. At times I would be so sonfident in the faith I had, and I would visualize it happening and draw inspiration from it. But most times I would be shaken by doubt and descend into despair.

My dear Sokoto friend was a great encouragement. She provided a listening ear and a few other things, to make me feel that I could cope with the present situation. I must confess it wasn't easy.

Now I drive around my new environment and sit in my new office, and whenever I remember where I was driving and sitting barely a month ago...a wide smile creeps onto my heart and spills over on to my face....haa

God is indeed good and kind and merciful.

THINK POSITIVELY!!

Sometimes this life aint easy, but I got a word to encourage us:

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord. Yes I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider your mighty deeds" Psalm77vs11, 12

Take a minute & ask yourself this question-“What have I been thinking about lately?” What memories have been filling your mind? Are you preoccupied with the negative circumstances of the present? Are you worrying about how you’re gonna pay your rent; or reminiscing on the broken relationships of the past? Are u thinking about the emptiness of your pocket; or remembering the nasty things that have been said about you?
Are you thinking about how frustrating yesterday was? Are you worrying about your future, wondering if you’re gonna make that admission list or get that job at Shell Petroleum? Maybe your worry is whether you made the right choice of a life partner, or afraid you’ll never get married at all.
Your anxiety may be your agonizing battle against sinful habits, discouraged that you haven’t been able to resist the temptation to sin. Or you’re just depressed thinking about all those gloomy reports on CNN and in the news papers.
Well we all think these thoughts every now and then, some of us more often than others. We are bombarded with sights and sounds of both the present and past that threaten our peace of mind and discourage us. But here and now I want to encourage u to close your eyes to what you are seeing now; borrow the wings of imagination & fly back to the past. Now choose to remember the mighty works of God instead of all those pessimistic thoughts. After all you do have the power of choice. Let me help you...
Think of that glorious day the waters of the Red sea saw God & convulsed! ‘Remember’how they ran away from His feet & formed walls on either side as He led His people through. He passed before them yet His footprints were not seen (psalm 77, 78)
‘See’ how He split the rocks in the desert. Hard granite stone became a reservoir of pure gushing water, purer than the Blue Mist “pure" water I buy every day. He led His people by a pillar of cloud by day & a pillar of fire by night.
Cast your mind to more recent times; how He saved you from accidents& from the hospital bed: how He supplied your needs. Think of how merciful He has been, forgiving your many sins. Psalm 103 is a good psalm to read when you find it hard to count your blessings.
Dear friend, 1000 pages would never be enough to list all the works of God. Therefore I encourage you to help me out in turn by listing all the mighty works of God that you can remember; and let your heart be encouraged by the Truth- God is a great God. He's greater than your problems. Take heart and be encouraged!

CF ‘93

IT'S ALL UNDER CONTROL!

Sometimes things happen to us that are completely out of our control. You are in a hurry cos you have to be in the bank to withdraw money before closing time at 4 pm. But you cant find your passbook. Or you alight from a taxi and later find out that you left your cell phone in the car. You are just about to start typing a job application letter which you must submit tomorrow morning at 8 am. The time is 12 midnight. Then NEPA strikes and there's a total blackout that lasts 2 days. Or you have an important meeting to attend today at 11 am but you wake up with a running stomach that keeps running the whole day through.You feel me?



We've all been through trying times. And am sure you know it can be pretty frustrating. But I’ll tell you something: though our circumstances seem sometimes to be out of control, they can never be beyond God's control.
God sees and knows everything that happens on earth.And He cares about you in particular.So much that He knows every detail of your life. Guess why He's able to do that? Because He’s God. Period!Your creator. Not only is He in control but He's able to change, correct, restore, create. He's able to do anything. Nothing's too hard for Him.

He shut the mouths of the lions when Daniel fell in. I'm sure they were just staring at him like a bunch of dummies, trying to figure out why their roars were sounding like 'meows'. He cooled the flames of the fiery furnace. I bet they were burning bright at 'zero' degrees centigrade! He parted the red sea and air-dried it faster than you can say wow. He made Elijah the fastest sprinter the world has ever known when he ran faster than King Ahab's chariot. (lst kings18:46)

King Jehosaphat was to fight three mighty kings all by himself, a situation totally out of his control because in 2nd Chron 20:12, he actually said ”Lord we don't know what to do". Know what God did? He first of all made two of the three kings gang up against and defeat the other. Then they turned and destroyed each other. All this happened before Jehosaphat even got there. Amazing! But true.

So friend be not discouraged. When the circumstances of life appear to be out of control remember, God's got it all in check. Don't be moved by what you see. Romans 8:28: He will make all things work out for your good. He's a God who brings beauty out of ashes. Just believe. For Jesus said "ALL things are possible to him that believes"(Mark9:23). And He doesn't lie. So dont worry, be strong.

It's all under control.

Cf

The Resurrection of Cognito Files!

I was going through my yahoo mail archives today. Saw a lot of stuff that brought back memories of my past days in school. A lot of 'not-so-good memories', a couple of 'bring-a-smile-to-my-face' memories, and a few 'in-between' memories.

I saw letters I had sent out under the Cognito File Magazine thing I was doing back then. Cognito Files was a small publication I was producing back then with a couple of friends. It consisted mostly of gopsel messages and words of encouragement, you know, Bible-based, church stuff. At one point, I started sending articles online via email to my readers. It was fun then cos I loved writing, loved encouraging folks etcetera

When I saw those letters, I smiled because a lot of things have changed since then. I have changed, friends have changed, and life has changed. But you know what? As I read through the articles, I was so tripped because I found them both encouraging and engaging. I marvelled that I was such a good writer then (hey, pardon my vanity. lol)

I then began to remember the passion and zeal that tormented me then, way back in '03. A passion to write and be read. A zeal to produce the best Christian or Gospel Magazine of our times. A passion that has since dwindled, almost snuffed out(remember what i said about changes?)

But I realized from the responses I got then, and from the way I felt after reading a few of the articles, that I had a good thing going on then, in spite of my naivety and ignorance about lifes issues etc (long story and we haven't got all day). So I decided to dig open the grave and bring out the vision of Cognito Files once again, which is to encourage people to face life WITH GOD! Encouragement that we all need.

I'm not as 'churchy' as I used to be (like a lot of us am sure), but let's face it, no matter how far we have drifted from God, we still need Him in our lives (that is as long as you believe He exists. I do). So this blog is an attempt to bring back to life the vision that was a source of inspiration to a number of friends back then, hoping that from the pages of this blog, both you my readers, and the blogger himself, will find inspiration and motivation to cast aside the flesh with all its carnality and weakness, and FACE LIFE WITH GOD!

Happy following!